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HOWTO Make Methamphetamines

A while back my company had a big old meeting which everyone was required to attend. In it, they told us all about how we shouldn’t use Methamphetamines because they’re totally freaking bad for you.

It was probably one of the most random things I’ve ever done at work.

The most interesting thing about the two-hour presentation was the following recipe, which the police officer that was giving the lecture told us. For some reason, this was the only thing I wrote down the entire meeting.

(My comments are marked like this.)

  1. Get Sudafed. Lots of it. Put it together with some solvent like camping fuel. Heat them to distill the Psuedophedrene. Yes, it always seems like a good idea to cook some camping fuel, doesn’t it?
  2. Combine some lithium and some amonia to get Red Phosphorus (the officer called this the ‘Nazi Process’). Add this and some Iodine to the Psuedophedrene. Because that’s a lot of stuff that sounds good to eat)
  3. Heat for two days.
  4. Add some sodium hydroxide, which can be found in Drain Cleaner. Just like Mom used to make
  5. Add some Organic Solvent (like Coleman fuel). You should end up with two fluids that separate. One is clear (that’s the meth) and one is dark (that’s crap).
  6. Now inject Hydrogen Chloride Gas into the mixture. How would you do that? Try mixing some myretic acid and some rock salt in a container. It’ll fizz up nice, and the gas that fizzes up with by the Hydrogen Chloride.

If nothing else, this taught me all of the things that are in Meth that I really, really wouldn’t want to ever think of ingesting. If that was the point of him telling us the recipe, he succeeded. If it wasn’t, I don’t know why he told us.

He also told us a few stories of people blowing their houses up while making meth. Needless to say, I haven’t tried this one at home, and you probably shouldn’t, either.